Once, i saw a movie about a mathematician who was trying to figure out an equation that was underling everything in nature. mathematics ARE the language of nature, how can you disagree with that? I dont think that finding this equation would answer many, if any questions about existence. Nature yes, but the nature of the world? If math is the key, fuck. I grasp the concept but the undeniable monotony of numbers seems far too inhuman to explain humanity. Still we all share this similar quest whether we stop to think about it long enough or not, some dont. for me, this question is all i have found underling the nature of existence. its what keeps me up at night. this absolute stumper is the meaning of our lives or at least mine. I have no real hope of answering this question and in doing so bringing meaning and light to my life. but i live everyday in this meaningless darkness, so how can i not wonder? how in the name of jah can i not wonder? maybe if i forget the question it will not matter. surely if u have no idea what im going on about you would have not read to this point, and your life is likely much better than ours who are still reading and writing on this subject. if u find the answer let me know, and we can disagree. if u find a way to forget the question let me know that to. perhaps my quest should be for ignorance, i bet i would find more comfort in that than i do in wondering and questioning life.

maybe i should drill some holes in my head to relieve the pressure?

well fuck your Compact discs. thats the old way. the new way? not downloading for free, at-least it doesnt end there if you want it all. Its a start, i just got the new Mars Volta cd The Bedlam in Goliath. It is mind blowing to say the least and the greatest piece of art they have released yet. check out the "cd" if you can recognize genius with your ears, even with out ears some how if you just feel the vibrations of the music you will pretend you can hear how great it is and you will feel that its true! go listen to it! google that shit and find out why its so much more than the best 12 tracks recorded by men...ever.

this is my album review, thats whats on my mind. im blasting it as i brush up on my Starcraft skillz. not getting much done these days, feels not so good but i think the bedlam snapped me into a kinda creative mindset thats been eluding me. the hi8us may end soon i hope. writing this and not erasing it is a good step out, toward the right now and i wanna find a place to stay there.

i started my first drawing class, its ya know like a little pre rec for all the others so idk really but drawing is always good no matter what for. not much to say yet, absence of a negative is a fairly positive right now for its rare like a good friend.

house of leaves is a fun read too, and i dont remember how but it influenced the bedlam in goliath. im gonna finish that and this cd soon, despite my exams, my nature drawing job, a pamphlet for this glass documentary. I would bitch if i had nothing going on but dont think this isnt bitching, it is, i am.

today i am going to a gallery opening. The show is photos taken by some classmates and I. the show is at a place i recently quit working at. i think my classmates photos will look great and i cant wait to see them, I lost the majority of the photos i took so i was forced to settle on a lame shot of some stupid trees. I would rather not go but ohh fucking well.

thou shal not judge lethal weapon by danny glover
-dan le sac vs scroobius pip

im glad i came back, i was happy i left. Im having fun with this second go around. no shame in it, none that i can tell. i never stopped making art, not since i was 2. i came back though because i was into what i had made and wanted to share it. Im still into what im doing so im still here, but i think that more importantly i have found some great work to look at on here recently!

im painting with acrylic on canvas, i hope to like how things turn out. i enjoy the process, and thank god. I am going to be hired for the first time as an artist! i have never done the shit they want me to do so i dont know if i really can, and the pay is not much better than if i just keep taking cans back. still i cant wait. wish me luck!